A visit to the Emergency Room

This morning as I got out of the shower, I saw a note where kiddo and a friend were writing back and forth and it ended with "my parents may send me back to foster care because I'm cutting"

My thought was new note, being dramatic teenager and claiming cutting, because obviously I'd never seen evidence of any cuts

Hubs thought was old note, because she's not cutting now.

As I was taking her to school, I asked kiddo why she would tell her friends we were sending her back to foster care.  She started yelling about my reading a note. Explained to her that I read it because it was out in full view, that I normally would not, but it's out in view and that if I ever saw her distressed, I also would snoop, but that wasn't actually the case here, but that I needed to know what was going on.

I felt so guilty when she admitted she was actually cutting and just not where we could see it, even getting ready for school (I'm still in the bathroom in the mornings with her getting ready).  Bad momma for worrying about perception of us when she was cutting and assuming cutting was untrue.

We both started crying, I pulled over, we called hubs and I asked him to meet me at the hospital.

She had a meltdown when the dr asked to see the cuts because she'd have to undress and he was a man. They had no female doctors available. I kicked dr out, looked myself with just us two and described them to the doctor.

We spent hours in the mergency room, a counselor came to determine whether she was suicidal and what was going on.  It's school related and she's being bullied.

The counselor tried to toss me and hubs out, but babycakes insisted momma stay.  The counselor said it sounded like she was testing, but that she needed to quit the testing and realize we had passed the test already and no point in putting us thru the ringer.

They took blood and urine to see if she was doing drugs (I was confident she wasn't). Then we found out she's diabetic, so off to the pediatrician at their instructions. Tomorrow we have an appointment with a specialist about an hour from here about this.

All this craziness, she's dysregulated still, but I totally think we're getting ready to have a huge breakthrough.