we were contacted in reference to a sibling set of 2 that TPR had not been done on yet, whose goal is currently to place with relatives, and TPR is not scheduled to begin for 6 months. After rejecting the potential placement, we had a phone discussion regarding our expectations.
It was stated to me that we needed to start accepting some of the referrals we’ve been provided and be more receptive to "agency" children instead of finding our own leads and that something had to change. I was told that we needed to take risks and be willing to consider outside our normal preferences. This is concerning we’re disturbed on several levels by these comments. I don’t feel we’re being unreasonable with our expectations about a placement.
To outline a few concerns:
· T was listed with agency, on agency site, requested info October 15th 2011 and received no response.
· B was on Tuesdays Kids, listed to contact agency if interested. She’s listed on agency Facebook page, we requested info on January 18th 2012 and received no response. J stated she would get more information and get that to us, and whoever monitors the Facebook page also stated they’d have J reach out to us with this. To date, we have received no information or any confirmation that our home study has been submitted.
· There were 2 girls K had mentioned that were on S's case load, one of which sounded possible could be a viable match. We were promised to receive more information regarding this child. After several follow ups, no information was ever provided.
· H (the precious 'lil angel we spent the weekend with) was listed on the agency website November 2011, yet we are the ones that found out about her being separated from siblings. It was nearly 2 months after inquiry before our home study was submitted.
· S was referred to us by J on August 9 2011. We immediately agreed and on August 10, we were informed he’d already been matched elsewhere.
· J was referred to us May 26, 2011. The info provided was dated 2008. We requested clarification on information received and received no further response.
Referrals accepted and turned down for that were outside our home study preferences: C12; C13 & A9; D10, S9, and I4
Referrals we rejected: C, I & A (who incidentally in the profile info stated a potential adoptive placement had been found), F, the 2 children on 4/4, the 2 from NOVA (X&Z)
Our preference has always been for one child, under age 12, with the potential consideration of 2 IF they were of the same sex and depending on age, due to bedroom placement and we most definitely prefer a low risk placement with TPR in place already. Given that this is the only child we intend to have, I don't think it's unreasonable to stick to our home study preferences and where our hearts lie.
We have to sign a document that we will not place a child in a room used as a passthrough. One of the bedrooms is. Obviously this means we can't take sibling groups unless they're the same sex and can share a bedroom.
Last year we had a meeting:
results were that we'd go visit DSS with J, they'd update the site, they'd get info on S's girls and our profile would be submitted on the adopt group J is member of. To date, no visits with DSS, it took 5 months to update the site, no info on S's girls and profile never submitted, 7 months later told she's not even a member and dues are required. We even offered to pay the dues.
We're talking with another agency as well to see if it's possible to switch, but we could really use some good thoughts and prayers. This has gone nowhere quick.