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Sunday, April 12, 2015

Baby Sis Update

Baby sis has had a rough time lately and I hadn't been telling kiddo about it because I didn't want her stressing. Once they got past it, we let kiddo know the basics of what had happened and where things stand now.

Hardly any reaction at all. I was worried about a lash back later because of the lack of reaction.

This was yesterday.

Today, "momma, can you tell me what happened with her?" I went into a tad more detail, without going too deep to stress her out over stuff that wasn't really key to the story.  She smiled?


She said "MOMMA!! You know what this means!! This means that she FINALLY has a family that's going to stick it out!! They're not going to give up on her! She has a forever home"

Smiles and relaxed and she was good then.

Hoping this is a breakthrough for everybody and both girls anxiety levels will decrease as time goes on.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Family History

When we went to disclosure on kiddo before adopting, we were told family history was a mess, issues on both sides of the family, many overlapping.  We also got her DNA test done on 23andme (highly recommend)

There wasn't anything in the history that was off our list of acceptable, but it was more than the average number of issues.

Last week, baby sis's new parents let us know of a sad turn in things. They stuck it out and kiddo is back home safe and sound with them.

This week, we received an e-mail from baby girls ex-case worker.

The bio mother contacts the case worker fairly frequently to ask about the girls and get updates.  The social worker asks her for updates as well.

More added to the family history....1 of the items was on our no list, but even if kiddo ended up with it, we'd still love her like crazy.  23andme DNA testing has helped alieviate anxiety about things she may or may not end up with and shows what likelihood of ending up with certain things (low for her).  But, more importantly, even though their is a genetic component to the disorders mentioned, there also is an environmental component.  Studies show that a nurturing adoptive home can greatly reduce the risks of certain genetic risk factors.

It's always good to have info though.  It's maddening to fill out paperwork at the doctor and they ask you a question about something you can't answer and have to explain over and over again that she was adopted at 11, it's not like we have a complete history.

It's even more maddening to see kiddo triggered when the doctors staff says "Did her mom have....?" over and over. *I* am her momma, thank you very much. Show the respect to say birth mom and not stress kiddo out.  Usually after correcting the first few times, I just deal with it and kiddo tunes them out.

More history, less mystery. Opposite of love life, but perfect for adoption.

Baby pics and more

I'm so lucky to have baby pics of kiddo.  Her birth family gave her some baby pics and she had somebody work with her on a lifebook. Her foster parents and her first adoptive parents both added pics as well (although the last year of her life before us is missing).

I'm so grateful for this photos. I've made a baby book of all her photos and look at them on occassion and wish I could have held that cute baby when she was little and prevent all the bad stuff that happened from even happening and showing her love the way she should have known it.

Occassionally though, I'm wistful for weird things.

This week one of my friends kid lost her front teeth.

I found myself wishing that I had kiddos first tooth she lost, that first lock of hair, her homecoming outfit and other silly stuff.

What I do have and count my blessings for:

  • some baby pics I scanned from kiddos lifebook
  • weight and length at checkups for 9 mos, 13 mo, 15 mo, 3 yr, 8 yr and when she got her
  • copies of her baby footprints
  • copies of her first birth ceritifcate, second and final
  • a few milestone markers (1st step, first word, first crawled, first playmate, etc
Some of those things are things I use when she talks about when she was a baby and with us (reconstructing her past to make sense and to focus on the positives).  She'll say "Remember when I first crawled and went chasing Bonkers" and I'll respond with "Yes, you were so cute, 6 months old and the kitty would grab your diaper"

Kiddo used to look thru her lifebook alot, tell me stories about who and what happened when. It's put away for now behind me on the shelf for her to look at whenever she wants to, but she no longer does that. I know it'll be good for her to have though when she's ready and it's helped her make sense of her past and helped us bond as she knows we are not denying her past.

If you're just fostering and no intent to adopt, please help your kids out.  Help them with their lifebook if they don't have an assigned worker to do so, send them to their final home with lots of photos. Your kiddo will appreciate it one day.

Home Schooling

Kiddo is homebound until May 18th.

After a rough start to get things started, babygirl started school at home a little over a week ago. It's going well and I'm amazed at how much she's done.  What's amazing is how little time it takes to get the same thing accomplished. 2 hours at home = 7 hours at school.

I wish we could do this all the time, year round and eliminate some stress.

I guess it's not meant to be.  It would be good though.  If only I could be a stay at home momma and do this.

Her first paper was a success.  I love her writing. She wrote about huskies.  "When caring for a huskie puppy, you have to be prepared to lose some shoes and stuffed animals."

One of my favorite quotes.

Easter Bunny

Babygirl forgot that last Sunday would be Easter, I reminded her Saturday and she said "Oh, I forgot" Not surprising with all the craziness.

Sunday morning she wakes up and says "Momma, did the Easter bunny visit?"

It was funny. Arlo started going bonkers at 2 am.

I asked her didn't she hear Arlo chasing the bunny in the middle of the night. She said she was zonked and didn't hear a thing.

Her loot:

The dress and luggage are from us. The basket of goodies were from the bunny.

I went out the day before for the dress. Things have been so hectic we hadn't had an opportunity to get things.  I asked kiddo if she wanted to go. She declined and it was a good thing. Rue 21 just came to our area a couple weeks ago and it was a zoo in there. Baby girls anxiety would have either been thru the roof or she would have used her crutches to clear the way.

The luggage is because BFF is going on vacation with us this year and that way they can not go thru our luggage picking out her outfits. She can be like BFF for the weekend.

It was a nice, lazy day. We did absolutely NOTHING!! I apologized for not having planned something and she said "Oh, this was PERFECT!!"

Good memories, good days, love spoiling the baby.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Can't Catch A Break....

This poor kiddo....if it's not one thing, it's another

she's breaking out really bad the past few days and itching.  Hubs found out she'd gotten a hold of an orange that had some mold on it and seems to be having a penicillin reaction.  She's allergic to penicillin.

I looked online for ideas of how to help and what we need to do.  While reading, despite that we told her doctor she's allergic, one of the meds prescribed, while not a penicillin is listed as a known medicine for penicillin effects, with many allergic.

Since we didn't know, we've been giving her that and the last few days more than normal.

I feel horrible. I normally look up meds, but with all the crazy we've had lately, I didn't check it out, I just assumed it was your average antibiotic that she normally responds to.

She's gotten close to tantruming tonight from the pain and itch of her rash.

On a positive note though, she had a doctor visit today BEFORE we found this out and her foot is healing on track. She had her staples removed today and has 4 more weeks of non weight bearing, but after that if she's still progressing well, it's on to physical therapy.

Also, that's just in time for pool season. In the meantime while she's not moving around, she's allowed to take the boot off and just use the boot while moving.

Why, oh why, though, can't my child just have some normal in her life?

So annoyed, ready for good things....bring on the good!!

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Closing our Home

We've been keeping our license open all this time JUST so we could provide respite for baby sis and her family.

Today, we got a call from the other families agency. It turns out they can't use our home study for that anyway. We have to get a background check and the normal stuff that baby sitters have to do for foster kids with them done.

So.....good news is we can close our home and no more social worker visits

bad news is background checks can take awhile, so they'll have to tough it out for awhile before we'll be much help.

Sorta looking forward to it, nervous, but excited too.

We got kiddo a new bed, it was delivered yesterday. Her and her crazy pup broke her other one. The new bed has room for baby sis.

We will attempt to put it together this weekend if all goes smoothly.  It's hard to get things done because kiddo can't spend a bunch of time outside playing and we'd be working around her, but I'm excited to get her room done.

Her and her pup wore out her saucer chair in the play room too, so I went and picked up the one I had set aside for her birthday (I knew it wasn't going to be long, I just was hoping it'd last a little longer)

and new bedding....

We got new curtains too, she's outgrown the pink, and blue is her favorite color now so we'll be taking down her pretty pink curtains and replacing it with turquoise ones (my favorite color too)