Bonkers and Loss

 The individuality of grieving is just that, individual.

I lost my kitty in March.  She was pushing 19 years old.  She would have been 19 today.  She led a great life and was a crazy cat.  The grieving though has been horrendous. See, here's the thing......before she was my feline daughter, she was my feline sister.  Bonkers belonged to my mommy.

In 2007, I lost my mom to lung cancer.  My niece wanted Bonkers. I was great with that.  After all, Bonkers was a peskie little feline sister that drove everybody nuts.  My brother, however, didn't think my niece should have her.  He said I should most definitely keep Bonkers myself.  After all, I had lived right next door to mom.  I lived in the country like Bonkers had.  He lived in the city.  Surely Bonkers would be much happier with me.

Bonkers was 5 at this point. 

I took that crazy thing in and loved her so much, a final living and breathing part of my dear mom. 

Just like she did with my mom, Bonkers loved to play tricks and pester others.  Most of the other pets were afraid of her. The dogs would never bug her. They knew they'd get beat up, even Mr Prey Drive husky wouldn't touch that girl.  

I remember when mom was still around, I went to her house one evening and she said so sadly "I think something is wrong with Bonkers, I'm worried she's sick".  I said her cat was too ornery to be sick and she was probably plotting something.  She said no, she was truly worried. She said that she had been in same place ALL day and hadn't budged even an inch and wouldn't respond to anything.  Again, I said "too ornery, she's fine".  Mom asked me to look for myself and took me to where Bonkers had laid for 10 hours straight.  She leaned over and said "look" and before she could get rest of sentence out, Bonkers jumped up real quick in the air at eye level with mom with a crazy look on her face and then just pranced off.

Mom said "OMG!! Bonkers!! You've waited ALL day for that"

That was the general personality of Ms Bonkers.  If you thought you knew what was going to happen next, just wait, you were probably wrong.

I miss that kitty so much, a living connection to my mom, no longer living.  :( 

Honestly, it's almost like losing mom again.  

(they behaved alike too)

Bonkers loved to eat moms flowers, my flowers, any flowers. 

I'm sure she's in Heaven with mom eating tons of flowers (and french fries, her other favorite food)