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Sunday, January 22, 2017

Becoming a vegetarian

me: would you like some eggs for breakfast monkey butt?
kiddo: no momza, that comes from a chicken and I'm a vegetarian now
me: oh, you are? I had no idea. When did that happen?
kiddo: since yesterday in Independent living Class when we saw a video on how nuggets are made
me: ok......what would you like then?
kiddo: cereal (and grabs bowl and milk)
me: you do realize milk comes from a cow, right?

kiddo: I want cheeseburgers
me: I thought you were a vegetarian?
kiddo: You know I can't give up cheeseburgers, they're my favorite, I'm eating cows, but not other animals, but especially not chicken

kiddo: momza, can we have chicken tenders?
me: I thought you weren't eating chicken?
kiddo: this is different, this is chicken BREASTS. It's the rest of the chicken I'm not eating


Thursday, January 12, 2017

Love Never Fails

Read something during lunch and think it is worth repeating....copied some of this but I can't find it again to name my source....some is all mine though, lol

How many times do we go to bed tired and overwhelmed, feeling as though we have not connected?

Children are people too and they should have a voice. Why is it okay for us to have opinions and our kids not? Why is it okay for us to be grouchy, but not them.  Dr Suess had the right idea.

We all get tired at night. Kids fall apart, parents fall apart, and yet, it is one of the most important parts of the day, because when your child goes to bed, they have all night to think about what JUST happened.

So, when your children go to bed, leave them with love, tender voices, kisses goodnight (if they will accept them) and encouragement.

Just because our girl is a teenager doesn't prevent me from saying "Good night darling.... I love you..Sleep tight..." or maybe even rubbing her back and reading to her occasionally. I can say this even if they don't receive it. I can say it anyway. Don't stop just because you don't get those words back.

Sometimes you feel as though no one is listening and paying attention all those times when our love seemingly fell flat at her door.

But our kids do hear our words. Sometimes kiddo's mouth opens and her mother comes out. I hear back what I put in and it hits me in those moments "she does listen, even when she pretends she's not".  So many things we say come back later, when we least expect it and the joy that she listens and retains. 

Don't ever think, even for a moment, that it's not worth it. Ever y bit of energy put into our childs future is WORTH IT.

If they ask for one more drink of water. Get it for them.

When I was little, my daddy was good about this, even though mom tried to convince him I was manipulating him.  I just asked because it was one way he showed love....yes, I could get it for myself, but that was "our time"....

Kiddo asks me for little things like that so frequently, things she can do herself and hubs will say "You can do that".  I say "of course she can, but she wants momza to do that" and I do tend to spoil her a little.

The night before my wedding, my daddy got me a glass of water and told me a bedtime story) Even if you think it is a massive manipulation. Do it. If they decide that is the time to talk, set a reasonable 10 minute limit, and talk to them.

You cannot err on the side of love, voice, acceptance, compassion or patience.

LOVE NEVER FAILS.... never ever.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Learners Permit Drama

So hard to believe monkey butt is even old enough for this.

She turned old enough to get learners on December 29th.  At that point, she was in the "I need to be a kid longer and not ready for this" phase. We told her no problem, we'd never push her into it, she'd do it when she was ready.

We didn't even mention she'd already sweet talked us into a car, lol

Earlier this week, kiddo says "Momza, I'm ready to test now", so I agree to get off work early and me, her and daddy-o would go.

Her dad and I fought over it.

He said "Why do YOU need to get off work for this? I'm capable of taking her"

I said "I know you're CAPABLE of taking her, but this is a big deal and I want to be there for her"

Then when I take the time off, he wants to go too, lol, apparently he recognized it was a big deal and wanted to be involved in that memory too.  If he thought it was a big deal, I still don't know why he thought it was weird I thought it was a big enough deal to go, lol

We're past that though.  Here's what happened:

The hubs brought kiddo over to my office and we left from there and took kiddo to get her learners permit. (she missed 1 question and it was sign, so we have to take her back in 15 days, you can not miss any sign questions and pass)

I got so upset though. We got there with her birth certificate (and with adoption, at the time of adoption, original certificate is sealed and a new one with same number is issued with me and hubs as parents).  Part of the reason they do that is so adoption can be kept just like biological kids and no extra paperwork, blah, blah, blah.   Turns out it’s an exception. Of all the oddball things, when she was 4, her birth family got her an ID card at the DMV, so we started filling out paperwork and they already have her in the system----as a S (birth name). 

So, they tell us to go home and get her adoption papers to prove she went from one name to ours, since in their system she doesn't have our last name.  The kicker---she wasn’t a S when she was adopted. She was a M by the time we found her, because she had been adopted before.  Thank GOD for good lifebook.  Between monkey butts stuff and the file we got when we adopted her, we were able to come up with copy of her S birth certificate, court docs showing S rights terminated, copy of M adoption papers, copy of M  birth certificate, copy of M  termination papers, then our adoption papers and birth certificate. PAIN IN THE BUTT!!! Part from her stuff, part from ours.

Not to mention, very triggering. No wonder she missed a question, she had to have that trigger of going thru memory lane 5 minutes before testing.  L

oh, and the boy she just had broken up with showed up right after us to take his test. He missed the same question, they're back together, but that was making her nervous because he sat close and they weren't back together yet.

eta: the first person was way rude about her medical history (application requires what you're taking meds for), second person didn't even bat an eye.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

New Years Goals and Accountability, Last Year/This Year

Last Years Goals and Accountability:

Parenting for Attachment--I think most of the time I did that, not perfect by any means, but thankfully kiddo is forgiving and let's me have re-dos

2 sizes smaller in 2016--1 size down

Get kiddo a passport--never got around to it, I need a re-do on this goal

Become a core branch by the end of first quarter--I think it was actually 2nd quarter when this happened, but better late than never

project organization--is this even possible with a crazy teenager in the house that love chaos? lol.....well, at least a couple things got done, shoes have a home now

Create good memories as a family, not taking time for granted, but enjoying what life and each other has to offer. I don't want our child looking back and saying "We never did anything together" or "we just sat around watching TV" or "Friday nights were the only times we did anything" (our normal family night to do to dinner together)--totally ROCKED this, despite a rocky year with so many financial emergencies that came up. Broadway show of Annie, tubing, Disney Live, Taubman Museum, Wii time, Chicago concert, pool time, Tybee Island, Pat Benetar concert, Cajun Festival, Splash Valley, Beauty & the Beast Barn Theatre, Cirque du Soleil, Carrie Underwood concert, Make America Rock Again Concert, Mountain Trip, The Star, Rudolph Musical, Thanksgiving with Sammie, Cheap Trick Concert, Nutcracker Performance, among a few of the bigger things, little stuff too

Be the best me that's possible--not exactly measurable, but I tried. Hopefully that counts.

There is just something about a New Year--the fresh smell of the calendar, a new journal with nothing written on the pages, 365 pages long.

I know today is no different than any other year, but just imagining that fresh journal with no blemishes on it. When I'm coloring and love the page until the first time I go outside of the lines or writing until I mess up and it gets messy.....until that moment it's just perfect and so nice to look at.

We can make a change any day. We can stay the same if we want too. There are no rules, but it's a fresh new book with none of the pages written on yet. I want my pages to be meaningful for 2017 and work with purpose and passion towards my goals.

2017 goals:

  • Parenting for Attachment--I want kiddo to continue to progress and attach, she's doing amazing and I never want to be an obstacle in her achieving her goals
  • Reduce 2 sizes--I'll do this by reducing carbs by 25% for awhile, then to 35%, then 50% until I find my happy spot, without going cold turkey where I can't keep control. I low carbed for 4 years and stress and grief after losing mom got the better of me.
  • Get kiddo passport--her favorite uncle (and my favorite brother in law) lives in Germany and we can't visit if we don't get her a passport
  • Earn 20K or more in bonuses for 2017
  • work on project organization around the house--I can't stand the chaos. Kiddo and hubs loves the chaos, so I have to be creative in working around it and doing the best I can with it
  • Create Memories with my family. I don't want our baby looking back and thinking "we never did anything as a family
  • photo a day
  • teach kiddo to drive and get her learners permit at least
  • Be the best me that's possible. My family and friends deserve nothing less than the best from me.