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Sunday, March 16, 2014

Still Fuming

I'm still fuming after the response from DH's mom.
I've written her a letter this morning just to get it out. It's not being mailed today. Just writing it makes me feel better.  If I feel later that it needs to be said and not just out of MY system, then I'll mail it.


MIL,

Unconditional love:
To love somebody with no conditions or circumstances: to love completely

Love is a verb, not a feeling

I’m very disappointed that the choice was made to choose no contact with your granddaughter for the next 6 years over having a relationship with your son. 

The #1 thing we HAVE to do to insure that our daughter feels like she’s in her forever family and for our family to love each other unconditionally and demonstrate that through our daily actions.

Defriending/blocking/etc everytime there is a disagreement, both with son and his wife and child is childish and not what I would have expected from a mother. I can’t imagine shutting my child out, regardless of what happens in the future. The first time we left it open for reconciliation so that our daughter could experience having an earthly grandmother.  I will not continue to let my daughter be hurt by those that are suppose to show her love.

Your response to our request for normalcy is very concerning at best.  I’m stunned that you’re willing to leave what happens 6 years from now to chance, just because you don’t want to speak with me or DH.

Maybe she will contact you when she grows up and want a relationship despite you shutting her out as a child. If so, then she’ll have both our blessings and we will be proud that she’s demonstrating unconditional love, even when it’s not shown.

If she doesn’t though, remember that today sets the tone for tomorrow.

Maybe I don’t get it because I always had unconditional love, but I don’t understand drama in families and shutting each other out.


I hope all is well and that you can rest in your decision without guilt. I know I wouldn’t be able to.

Signed,
Me

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