with mine being the worst.
All 3 of us, same time. It was bad.
Kiddo had a bad morning, with a major case of the grouchies. Hubs had woken up on the wrong side of the bed too and wasn't picking his battles. It was the day before shark week for me and I was on edge too.
Kiddo lost her temper, showed her butt.
I told her she could ride the bus, that I was going to work and wasn't going to be yelled at like that and told her "turn it around if you want a ride", otherwise I was leaving and going to work. She has always said she hates riding the bus, too noisy, etc. We've always said we'd happily take her as long as it was a pleasant drive. I also let her pick the radio station on the mornings that go smoothly. We told her several times "redo" if things going badly, that being a car rider is a priviledge, not a right.
I went and waited in the car while she got her coat and she proceeded to cuss hubs out.
Cursing doesn't happen unless she's extremely dysregulated and disassociating. Something triggered her to a different point in her life and she ran out the door with hubs telling her to take the bus home because of what she'd said to him.
Us in our own dysregulation from being yelled at (a trigger for us) didn't have us parenting for connection, as we normally would.
I was in tears and yelled.
Hubs was dead serious about not picking her up. He called the school and told them he wouldn't be able to pick her up and that she'd need to ride the bus, which bus to ride, that she's always been a car rider and to please make sure she gets on the right bus and off at the right stop.
I was terrified she'd run away (her go to move before coming to live with us)
I cried off and on all day over the morning.
Hubs told me not to worry, that the school would put her on the bus and he'd pick her up at the bus stop, but that she needed a little tough love to show she couldn't be the bully she was being that morning.
He met her at the bus stop......
him and I were prepared for WWIII.
Result.....she LOVED it. She got over the fear of riding the bus. One of her besties and a crush ride the bus. She immediately apologized and said she was out of line, hugged us and said she'd like to ride the bus home a couple times a week and hang out with friends.
So, what started as a horrible day ended up resulting in exposure therapy and a breakthrough.
So glad that we can only mess up things so far. Most of my tears were over my reaction and not being in a connective way. It all worked out though.