We were told hygeine would be a problem before she moved in. That's normal for a sexually abused victim. Being dirty on some level makes you feel like people will leave you along. Likewise with overeating and putting weight on.
We worked on that and it wasn't much of a fight, just modeling appropriate behaviors and giving her friendly reminders. She didn't balk at it (much).
After she got in the habit and became a teenager that takes 3 showers a day at times, I assumed we were past this.....until we got to the orthodontist and he said "She's not brushing her teeth, I can't work with this"
I was beyond embarrassed, but really upset that I didn't see it coming or know there was a problem.
So, this momma is back to staying in the bathroom while she brushes her teeth both morning and night.
I wish I could fix the background thoughts that cause the behaviors, because I know it's not a behavior thing. I can't punish her because it's not about being bad, it's about the perception of protecting herself.
Some days I wonder how long it'll take for her to start trusting that her past is not the norm.
My heart breaks for her some days that she still suffers this much.
She seems so normal most days, that trauma behaviors throw me for a loop now.