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Thursday, February 18, 2016

Adult Adoption


http://timesleader.com/news/local/513501/on-her-day-of-adoption-21-year-old-says-youre-never-too-old-for-a-family

This makes me happy and sad at the same time.

Happy, because she finally has a forever family, despite many years of waiting.

Oh, how I hope that this makes all involved happy.

It makes me sad though that she was in foster care so long, waited so long, and no family to cherish her during the younger years, during those tough years where a child needs the extra support and could use the unconditional love of a family.

I think of that teenager that we did respite for that wanted so badly for us to adopt her.  We had already applied for kiddo.  I knew deep down we weren't the one for the teenager, although we really did enjoy her and adore her. I'm thankful and happy that at 17 she found her forever family.  She desperately wanted to be adopted and have a forever family.

I think of that cute 8 year old that spent the weekend with us just 2 weeks shy of 4 years ago and how she's been on a tv call to adopt in the news.  12 years old now and still hasn't found her forever family because after another family was chosen instead of us, they gave up on her.

The one that really hurts though, is I think of that amazing 11 year old little girl that looks up to my daughter like she hung the moon.  The one that was adopted at the age of barely 6, the ones who's adoption was disrupted on her 8th birthday, the one that 3 1/2 years later, has been in residential for the 3rd time currently, has been in over 1/2 dozen homes, the one that can't seem to find the family that she can connect and bond with, the way her big sister has. She's had a constant stream of families giving up on her and instances of her pushing others away and/or the social workers deciding she triggered too easily and moved her to eliminate triggers.

Yes, my daughters baby sister.....the one that is constantly in limbo, the one that can't seem to find peace and healing, the one that I FEAR one day will age out of care.

I don't really WANT to adopt her as an adult.  I want her to have a family now.  I want her to remain like our niece, not as a daughter. She deserves that. She deserves so much.

I'd give her a home to come to as an adult if she needs to.  The girls cannot be together.  They trigger each other too much to completely heal in each others presence.  They need connection, not constant life together.

My kiddo said she would adopt her as an adult if need be.  We'd do it before letting our child take on that responsibility, but I implore you to look into yourself.  Stick it out if you're fostering/adopting.  If you're thinking about foster/adopt, please start exploring it. Educate yourself.

If just one family out of every 3 churches (and I use this as an example, it certainly doesn't require you go to church to adopt), but if just one family from every 3rd church would adopt a child, there would be no orphans.  Every waiting child would have a family.

Be the change the world needs to see.

We can't change the world all by ourself, but every change we make is one step further to changing the world.

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