Tuesday, she asked for help with homework. She normally tantrums over homework, but was calm and even let me help. Not triggered at all. So super proud of her!!
Wednesday, humongous anxiety attack at school, right before the class with the teacher that had posted her grade for the class to see. Coincidence? Kinda thinking not.
We had therapy tonight though, so that was good timing.
At therapy the following things came out
- When the boyfriend said he was moving, it triggered her because instead of just thinking he was moving away, she was also afraid his adoption was disrupting and it stressed her
- Boyfriends mom is pregnant, he's like her and struggles with little kids, she's fearful that he'll mess up the family he has
- Seeing baby sis S Saturday also triggered big feelings again, she's worried both about her messing up the family she has, but also about staying with the family she has
- nightmares about S physically hurting the new mom
- worried that she'll like her new family so much that she will not want to see her anymore
- worried that S still fantasizes about being with us
- all that triggered the irrational fear about us giving up on her too, her head knows we are forever, but things like this trigger fear
- the whole school stuff still has her extremely anxious. She got a bad grade on a project and is worried she'll fail 7th grade, regardless of never having anything below a C on her report cards
Her teacher actually e-mailed us. Kiddo had called when she got anxious and hubs tried to talk to her and calm her down, but wasn't going to pick her up. One of her teachers said 1/2 hour later that it still was no better and she needed our help.
Tomorrow, we have an appointment with the psychiatrist. I'm going to request he consider either changing the antidepressant/anti anxiety med or change the dosage. Her anxiety and depression have been so extreme lately.
my heart breaks that she feels this much pain and that I can't fix it.
Her therapist found it funny when I said I knew she wasn't faking it because she called me mommy instead of momma and didn't hesitate when she said she loved me back when I told her I loved her.
Her therapist asked her what coping skills she was going to use tomorrow at school. When sher said she was going to talk to her boyfriend, the therapist looked at me and said "Call the boyfriends parents and see if they'll adopt her". Babycakes was stunned, but then she got it a minute later and started laughing and said "Oh, I should call momma, good idea!" The therapist said we'd last longer than any boyfriend, so we'd be first pick to rely on and good to talk to her boyfriend, but better to talk to us.
The therapist asked why she was worried about boyfriend and sisters placements and she said because they get angry and have tantrums. The therapist said "I thought you got angry and had tantrums too". She admitted she does. Then the therapist said "Well, your momma and daddy always stick it out and you stay family, why would a tantrum and anger disrupt a family?"
I love how she tries to turn her concerns into a way to show while addressing that concern that we're here for her.
I hope the anxiety eases before next week. While she didn't say it, I suspect my leaving for a business trip next week isn't helping her anxiety at all.
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