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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Bullying isn't just for kids.....

Ready to share my story now.....

I've been with my prior company nearly 26 years. If I'd stayed until July, it'd have been 26 years.

I've had a great career, both professionally and personally rewarding and have had a lot of roles within the company.  A little over a year ago, I got realigned into another district.  That district manager and me did not click.

When I requested time off for our first long weekend home (Thanksgiving 2012) in the adoption process, he denied it and said I needed to be at the office, my numbers didn't support leaving the branch.  I explained the situation and sent his boss an e-mail outlining all the improvements made since I'd relocated to that branch, as well as the severity of the situation with my needing vs wanting the time off. The time was approved at that point.

It went downhill from there.

In February, I received a call from a competitor that is getting ready to expand into the area asking if I were interested in considering making a move and interviewing with them. I wasn't ready to make a move (or so I thought at that point), but thought it was worth listening to, I knew people there and it didn't hurt to see what other competitors were like.

In March, I flew to Atlanta for a second interview.  At that point, I knew I was leaving. I was just waiting for the date and going to put in my notice and work until the Friday before my new job started.

In March, I ended up 4th out of 9 managers in the district ranking. Was I happy with it? Obviously not.  Was it worth bullying me over? Nope!!

I was told that day things I'd never in my life heard a manager say. I was demeaned beyond what I'd been dealing with the past year.  Over the past year and a half, things had steadily gotten worse and I don't respond well to shame micro-managing.

A couple days later, it got even worse. At that point I was done. I sent my resignation then for 2 weeks, even though my new position wouldn't be starting until May.

He called and asked if I was sure I wanted to do that. I told him yes and he acted as if I were having a temper tantrum and didn't have a job. I told him I always have opportunities, not to worry about that. lol

His boss e-mailed a few days later "are you sure you want to do this? do you have a job?"

Really!? What's with these people assuming I'm a numbskull that doesn't even get a job first. I responded back that I wasn't having a temper tantrum and recent communication issues just escalated when I was leaving and I was secure in my decision.

Notice I didn't tell any of them where/when/whether I had a job. heehee!!!

NOT putting up with bullying any more.  If I tell my child not to put up with bullying, what message was I sending coming home upset over my boss cussing, being demeaning, etc.

and yes, I let HR know my reasons for leaving, in case they wish to prevent further turnover in that district. I'm manager #4 in 6 months to leave that worked for him (out of 9). I would think that would be telling.

Lead by example. That's for my former boss and for myself. I was worried about being perceived as a quitter, but I'm choosing to look at the problem solving portion and looking after my future.

In addition, the hours are better, more time for the baby!!!


  1. I found your blog a while ago and just never commented. I wanted to congratulate you on the adoption of your daughter. I actually use to be a manager in the same region as you and left last June. I never realized how stressed out I was until I left. leaving has been awesome. We are now fostering with the hopes to one day adopt. We are in a different state now but when we were in VA we were with a private agency for 2 years so I know how hard the wait can be. Good luck on the next chapter of your life.

    1. thanks!! Good luck on your journey!