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Saturday, October 4, 2014

Loss and Grief

I left my previous job in April, after nearly 26 years.

It’s been so exciting to start a career with a new company, whose beliefs line up with mine and really believe it’s all about the people.

This was really a big deal.  I used to be the poster child for loyalty for my old company. I used to joke that I’d get a tattoo with the company logo on it……so glad I didn’t now.

When I left, I took 2 great employees with me.  One of them struggled a little with leaving and felt sad, while still excited.

It wasn’t until this past weekend that I had any feelings of sadness.

As I mentioned before, we recently renovated our dining room and living room, just finishing the floors last week.  As I brought things back into the house and placing them in their appropriate spots, all the awards I had won from my previous job were in a box and I was placing them with care.
Symbolically, I was going to get them all to fit in the bottom few shelves and leave the top shelf for awards from my new company.

As I thought about that, the tears finally came. It’s been over 5 months since I’ve left and I finally started crying and grieving for this significant change in my life.

I don’t regret the move a bit. I’m much happier where I’m at. 

I was grieving for what could have been though. Things used to be so much better with the last company than they are for employees now. It makes me sad how the human element is missing altogether now, and of course, their results are nowhere near as good as they were when they took care of their employees.

I can imagine this is similar to what our kids that are adopted from foster care feel.

It’s okay to be happy with your new family, being loved, being spoiled and still grieve and feel sad, despite the abuse in the past.  The first families should have taken care of these babies. There should be no need for foster care. I grieve for the childhood my child never had.  I know she grieves even more.

Of course, most of the kids adopted from foster care have behavior issues, they’re grieving.  It’s still a loss even if it’s a life you want to continue to experience.  These kids loved their biological parents and the bio’s in many cases loved these kids too, they just didn’t know how to love the correct way.

So as I grieve over the life with the company that had bosses that mistreated me, I understand so much better how my child can still grieve for those that didn’t protect her as a child.

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