College? No college? Career? Change?

Name three things you’d do if you weren’t afraid of failure.

Work has not gone well for me lately.  I've had staffing issues, there has been COVID and then when stimulus's constantly, nobody has really needed a loan.  I'm in a rural area where $1200 and $1400 is more than alot of our customers net in a month on their job.  Then add 3-6 kids, they are raking in the dough. 

So, since my head is on the chopping block for lack of ability to grow in this climate because I'm taking payoffs and payments like mad (on the plus side, my past due percents are getting lower and lower by the second because they have money now), it's got me to thinking "what would I do if I did lose my job?"

I don't have a college degree.  I've been in the financial industry since 1987 (I was 17).  I make twice as much as the average citizen in this area because we are a rural, depressed, underdeveloped county with low median incomes.  I can NOT change a job and make anywhere near as much money as I make.  

Oh, let me rephrase. I don't make twice as much as average citizen. I make twice as much as average FAMILY in this area. On my own. 

Some of you may know, my husbands lack of work is a sore spot.  A thorn in my side, I have to realistically think "what if?".

If I weren't afraid, what I'd really do would be give up the rat race and ONLY do things that make me happy and that I'm passionate about.  Unfortunately, that would lead to a drastically different standard of living. 

After all, how much money could I make writing? How much could I make doing baby and engagement photography without expanding to the high costs wedding photography? (there is nothing I'd hate worse than my hobby being a chore with bridezilla).  How much could I make just renting out all this wedding stuff  I purchased from a wedding shop that went out of business?  In a high end market, yeah, in a depressed economy, most will marry at church or court and use their materials.  How much could I make converting photos to digital? How much could I make selling stuff on ebay?  Flip or flop on stuff to put on ebay could be fun, but realistically, would I make enough to make it worth it?  Professional stalking? Well, no, not really, but skip tracing for people that need to find out about people, where they are for collections? or searching birth family from adoption? etc

On the bright side, the house is paid for.  The only car not paid for will be paid off in February 2022. I could have a garden to feed myself.  God knows I have plenty of land.  All I'd need is enough for electricity, supplies to support my hobbies and needs, insurance, clothes, meat to go with what I grow, and pool supplies of course.

Huge difference in standard of living, but I could live. Maybe living off the grid wouldn't be horrible.  I could cut the cable off and get raku tv or use firestick.  Internet and cell phone may be a challenge, but it's doable.  

Sometimes I just need to convince myself I don't need ANYBODY to make things happen and I can live just fine.  I'd be without insurance and medical pretty quick but I'd be able to survive at least, maybe following passion could provide a thrive even without the finances being stable.  Doubtful, but maybe.  I am pretty accustomed to my life style.