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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

His Will?

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."
(Proverbs 16:9) NIV

Back in January 2011, I found out an employee was pregnant. She claimed she was on birth control, but we all know how that goes. I figured she just didn’t want to admit she was lax and/or wanted a baby.

In August, baby Gabby was born, she has been a blessing to us all, and amazingly I have never been jealous at all over her. I just enjoy her cuddly hugs and beautiful smile.
All through our adoption journey, we keep getting told we’ll have the child God wants us to have and we just hadn’t found the child he wants us to have yet, that he’s still preparing her, blah, blah, blah. You know? All the things you really don’t want to hear. It’s His timing, it’s meant to be, it’s His will. The whole time, despite my faith in God, I haven’t bought into that. I think our free will affects the destination we arrive at on our journey. After all, God may not plan for me to die right now, but how many times can I run out in front of a truck before it kills me, even when it’s not the original plan.

Admittedly, I have struggled with my aggravation over the lackadaisical attitude of our adoption worker and the numerous kids we haven’t even been considered for because she dropped the ball and didn’t get the info requested or submit our home study.

 Back to J for a moment and her baby Gabby….after Gabby was born, J decided to use Mirena for her birth control and prevent a repeat with the pills. Well, back in November, her Mirena FELL OUT. VERY weird. Her doctor said that rarely happens and has only known of 3 instances of this, to come back in and she’d put a new one in and she’s NEVER seen it happen twice, so no worries. Late December, yep, you guessed it, her Mirena fell out again. Needless to say, they determined she’s not a good candidate for this and put her back on the pill. Last night the news had an announcement that her pill has been recalled, as it was released without the active ingredient and is not effective for birth control.

We’ve been teasing her endlessly over Gabby having a new brother/sister so quickly, but then the thought went to God’s plans and how the best way to make Him laugh is to make plans. His plans WILL prevail.

Somehow all that happening gave me hope, that maybe we WILL find our child despite all the obstacles along the way. Surely God can fix this situation when I’m unable to fix it. If He can make 3 birth controls fail in somebody trying so hard NOT to have a baby, surely He wouldn’t give me desire for children and not let me find them.
Coincidentially or not, shortly after having this good laugh for the morning about J and her potential pregnancy, our adoption worker e-mailed. The beautiful ‘lil girl we wanted our name in the hat for and she’d said she’d been matched and our home study had never been submitted for (yes, the one in the post below)…..they want to review our home study after all.
Coincidence or not, I’ll take it. It gives us hope that God can move when others aren’t.  I attached this video because this is 'lil Miss H's favorite song. How appropriate for this post. 

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