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Saturday, February 11, 2012

Control Tower

I haven't been on here lately because I'm so overwhelmed with excitement, I can't put my thoughts into words, but then I heard an analogy that put together how I'm thinking.

The pilot gets in the plane, can't see everything through the clouds and the control tower is responsible for telling the pilot when to turn, descend, ascend, etc.  Through it all, the pilot gets us where we're going, but it is 90% adjustment from it's current path.  Rarely is it a straight line.

The adoption journey for us hasn't been a straight line either.

We had an interview on Princess M last March. It went extremely well and yet, we weren't chosen. In the final 2 and the other couple was chosen.

We had an interview on Lil Miss H Friday. I'm afraid to be hopeful. We've been hopeful in the past and it fall through, but it's all been a very crooked line.

Lil Miss H we found last fall. She was on adoptuskids with her siblings.  We found her and Princess Redhead at the same time.  I tried to talk the hubby into applying for them, but he said no, 3 was too many, so we only applied for Princess Redhead. I kept her on my watch list anyway as I prayed for them.  Apparently though I did more than watch because when she was separated from her younger siblings, I got a notice asking if we were still interested even though it was only 1.  Not only only 1, but THE one that I really felt something for. I told the hubby and he said "quick, call our worker".

We called our worker....7 weeks later she STILL had not submitted our home study and she said Lil Miss H already had a prospective family. I was furious and hurt and so was DH. I literally cried myself to sleep that night, it felt like everyone was working against us and that if our worker wasn't advocating for us, then we were doomed.

Despite that, I reached out to see if she was really placed. Turns out our worker saw the siblings status and not her status, she thought they'd been placed together (I don't REALLY believe that, I think that was her excuse to not admit she forgot to submit our study), but in any event, that Friday she submitted our home study.  Her worker had a meeting and eliminated the unacceptable families. We were in the "explore more info" pile as a potential family.

Princess Redheads worker reached out Monday and told us the deal with her and that a little more time was needed. (we interviewed on her by phone a few weeks ago)

Lil Miss H's worker reached out to us directly on Monday and told us a little about this 'lil angel and asked if we were willing and able to accomodate her worst behavioral issues.  We asked a couple questions to clarify and decided we still were very interested.  On Wednesday, she reached out and requested a face to face interview and on Friday we had an interview.

We think it went very well. They seemed to like us and think we could be good for her, but of course, we have to wait and they are interviewing one more family before a decision is made.

I keep thinking about the control tower and the crooked journey. God had to work serious miracles to get this young lady in our path, to get our home study submitted, to get us considered despite all these odds. If He can do that, I'm sure He can get us approved for her.

I'm terrified. She has some pretty severe issues, and yet, that's EXACTLY the child I want, as does the husband.  It feels right. I hope I'm not wrong. I almost think Princess M last March may have been a way to prepare us for this one, she's eeirily similar.  As a result, we ended up focusing more of our training on those type issues in case we ran into another like her or if her adoption disrupted (in which case, we knew we'd be called)

Either way, say a prayer for both of these young ladies. I think I know what direction we're suppose to go in. I'm just not sure others are on the same page yet. Time will tell what the control tower (God) has in store for us.

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours ~Mark 11:24

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