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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Food and Family Progress

It came on so subtly that I almost didn't realize how much progress we've seen lately.

Back in October, hubs had a dispute with kiddos bff's mom.  The mom forbid bff from being facebook friends with hubs.  Kiddo was so upset about the absurdity of it that she immediately went on her facebook page and defriended bff's mom.  She said if BFF can't talk to daddy, I'm not talking to her momma!

Then another night, we went to a really good restaurant that we hadn't been to since kiddo moved in. Kiddo loved it and loved the mashed potatoes so much that she passed me a bite.

Completely unheard of.

Her sharing food?

Yeah, she wanted me to taste how yummy it was, instead of stressing that somebody would eat her food, like has been the norm the entire time she's been here.

Last month, BFF's mom and I got in a dispute. BFF's mom defriended ME this time.  Whatever!

Kiddo was the first to notice it and she got so angry that she defriended the BFF.  I told her that her and BFF had nothing to do with the issues and she didn't need to do that, but she was in protective mode. She wanted me to see that she had my back.   She doesn't let anybody speak ill of her momma and daddy.

She said "besides, it's not like BFF and I talk anymore, I'm tired of rejection and being used".

Another recent instance was Friday on the way to school.  On the way to school kiddo pulled out a baby bell cheese wheel that she'd gotten from the fridge to snack on on the way to school.  I noticed and we were talking about how much we love them and I said I wished I'd thought of that. She pulled the other one out (she'd brought two) and handed me one.

What?! Sharing food is one thing, but now it's also her last one!?

I'm so proud of how far she's come.

She's starting to finally feel safe.

She knows she's loved and that we want to support and help her, hence having our backs when others treat us unkindly.

She knows we'll feed her no matter what now and she's starting to not "protect her food".

She also has let me help her with homework a few times in the last month or so.

It's little things, a little at a time, but then I realize how much in such a short time and I'm overwhelmed with the love I feel for her and how proud I feel of her for being so resilient, for being willing to learn to trust and love and for trusting us to be the parents she deserves to have.

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