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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Thanksgiving and Sibling Visits

A little apprehensive, but the girls are about to spend their first holiday together since being separated from each other.

S is still in visits with her future family, however, it's been recommended to them that they find as many ways to show S that they will continue contact with her big sis.

Her attachment issues are much more severe than C's and they said honestly, S wouldn't do any attaching during the visits leading up to moving in with the new family anyway, so all they could hope for was building trust and showing S they mean what they say.

In S's case, the #1 fear she has about adoption is never seeing her big sis again.  Despite that we continue to take kiddo all over the state to have visits with S and she's been with us 2 years and adoption finalized a year ago, she thinks it'll be different once they're both adopted and apparently she's finally confessed to her therapist that is the reason she keeps doing things to disrupt her placements.

Kiddo squealed when we listed to the message on the voice mail last night asking us to join S's new family for Thanksgiving dinner.  At least it'll be at their house so if they end up triggering each other, we can leave instead of having to kick a family out of our house.

I do think this will work the more I've thought about it, but my initial reaction when we were asked a few weeks back to spend time at Thanksgiving with their family was "WTH?"

There is no way I'd have shared kiddo our first Thanksgiving with another family barely known. The timeline for S and kiddo's visits run lateral, just 2 years apart, so I'm getting all silly, sappy and sentimental with each of their visits remembering our journey.  Our first Thanksgiving one of kiddo's new cousins stopped by to meet her, but most of the day it was just us 3.

Maybe a new tradition, maybe a chance to create a different tradition. No hanging out in PJ's all day for kiddo while daddy cooks this year though.

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