Eating Issues....

sometimes I wonder if and when the eating issues will ever be resolved.

We try so hard and I know her HEAD knows that we'll always feed her and that she'll never do without, but her poor little body's memory still betrays her.

Friday night in the middle of the night, our daughter came into our room and hugged me and said she had a nightmare about Arlo starving to death and Lucifer eating him.  We responded with "Oh baby, I hope you know that nobody living here will ever starve, there is always food available".

Her response "Yes, I know, okay".

The next morning there was ZERO ice cream in the house, she'd binge ate it all after the rest of us went back to sleep.

That day, I found a can of spaghetti o's in her playroom.

Today, the crescent rolls are missing again.

It makes me so sad that she has had so much neglect that she still worries, after this much time, that things will go back to her not having enough to eat and feeling that she has to hoard food.

I cry for every moment like this that we experience, because I relive feeling pain for her that she's felt so much of her life.

If only there were a magic wand to get her through all this.

Monster

Not sure what's going on, but kiddo has been struggling bad the past 3 weeks.

Another instance of hoarding food (in the playroom/guest bedroom).  It was so disgusting when I found it, that we really had no choice but to remove the bed from the guest bedroom.  We put her cute peace sign chair in their so she can still use it as a playroom.

I wish I knew what was bugging her. I know S being moved so much lately has her really upset, but for some reason I don't really think that was the trigger. Mommy instincts say otherwise. Her BFF says she's not been talking to her much lately either and she normally will talk non stop to her about S.  It's so hard for me to pinpoint.  S moving again, my spraining my ankle and her spending time in the ER with me couldn't have been easy (especially since her last placement (supposedly--sw says so, C says it happened before then too) went South due to medical issues turning her adad into a monster no child should have to deal with) and my having to go out of town on business.  Maybe a combination of all those stressors took it's toll?

I hope that her therapist can get something out of her Wednesday.

Huummm, just realized she's been wound up ever since her last therapy session.  Wonder if she walked out a little unsettled and hasn't calmed down? Not sure, but either way, I want my consistent baby back instead of this up and down baby.

Yesterday was a great day. Although she didn't want to get rid of the bed, she understood why and once the room was rearranged, she loved it and we sat in the middle of the floor and played one of her new Christmas games.  I so hope we can have another good day today.

I hate Winter and I tend to get depressed during Winter so I hope kiddo isn't channelling me and picking up on my mood and thinking it's directed at her. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I bought broadway tickets to see The Adamms Family for us all, hoping to give us all that pick me up we need.

Kiddo's squealing when I told her---priceless!!!