sometimes I wonder if and when the eating issues will ever be resolved.
We try so hard and I know her HEAD knows that we'll always feed her and that she'll never do without, but her poor little body's memory still betrays her.
Friday night in the middle of the night, our daughter came into our room and hugged me and said she had a nightmare about Arlo starving to death and Lucifer eating him. We responded with "Oh baby, I hope you know that nobody living here will ever starve, there is always food available".
Her response "Yes, I know, okay".
The next morning there was ZERO ice cream in the house, she'd binge ate it all after the rest of us went back to sleep.
That day, I found a can of spaghetti o's in her playroom.
Today, the crescent rolls are missing again.
It makes me so sad that she has had so much neglect that she still worries, after this much time, that things will go back to her not having enough to eat and feeling that she has to hoard food.
I cry for every moment like this that we experience, because I relive feeling pain for her that she's felt so much of her life.
If only there were a magic wand to get her through all this.
Showing posts with label food insecurities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food insecurities. Show all posts
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Going on a Diet
I decided today I'm tired of having to "settle" with my clothes, I'm tired of now looking like "me". I'm totally going to shed this weight again.
It took some doing to come up with a plan. All I've ever "known" successfully was low carb. I did that for 4 years, counting maintenance, got depressed after mom died and when I started eating pumpkin cream cheese muffins that we sent to the house after her death, banana pudding and spaghetti (the only 3 foods I could hold down for a week), it started me down a downward spiral and the binge monster came back.
I asked kiddo if she'd be my cheerleader. She said she wanted to be more than a cheerleader, she wants to go on a diet with me.
Poor child has food insecurities, so I'm having a hard time picturing how that'll work, not to mention I don't want her getting caught in that cycle, so I have to come up with a plan that'll work and still make her realize she'll always have food.
I reminded her she can stop at any time and just be my cheerleader, that I never want her feeling deprived and that's she's beautiful inside and out. She's totally excited though and had us start with dinner last night.
I changed my facebook pic to my "goal" pic for inspiration. I want to look like this again:
It took some doing to come up with a plan. All I've ever "known" successfully was low carb. I did that for 4 years, counting maintenance, got depressed after mom died and when I started eating pumpkin cream cheese muffins that we sent to the house after her death, banana pudding and spaghetti (the only 3 foods I could hold down for a week), it started me down a downward spiral and the binge monster came back.
I asked kiddo if she'd be my cheerleader. She said she wanted to be more than a cheerleader, she wants to go on a diet with me.
Poor child has food insecurities, so I'm having a hard time picturing how that'll work, not to mention I don't want her getting caught in that cycle, so I have to come up with a plan that'll work and still make her realize she'll always have food.
I reminded her she can stop at any time and just be my cheerleader, that I never want her feeling deprived and that's she's beautiful inside and out. She's totally excited though and had us start with dinner last night.
I changed my facebook pic to my "goal" pic for inspiration. I want to look like this again:
Well, in reality, except the hair, which is now turning gray, lol But close enough!! I want that body!! Maybe with my graying hair, I will not get quite the level of uncomfortable attention. Got to combat that too.
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