Sibling Visit

For the first time since the fiasco playdate last May, we finally had another sibling playdate.

Kiddo was excited and on edge at the same time waiting for yesterday to get here.  We were told she was making progress and they asked if we were comfortable with an unsupervised visit or if they needed to supply a chaperone for baby sis.

We decided we could handle the visit unsupervised and had their cell phone in case things got out of hand.

She was actually a little calmer than normal.  There was only one sign of stress during the visit......when she asked for candy right before lunch.  We told her to wait until after lunch and she said okay and stuck that thumb in her mouth.  Sucking the thumb is her coping skill when she's stressed and wants to hold it together.

At least she held it together though.  I was really proud of how well both of the girls did.

Kiddo didn't get stressed during the visit at all.

The visit seemed to fly by, despite being a normal length. I actually hated leaving her.

We went tubing and out to lunch and got lots of great photos.  The girls exchanged some just because gifts and I gave baby sis a DS I got off the yard sale page, since her case worker can't find hers.  I told her I was loaning it to her and if she wanted to keep it forever to draw me a picture.

She painted kiddo a sweet picture and gave her a card, encouraging her to do good deeds and had all 4 of our initials inside of a heart.  Be still MY heart.

All in all, it went very well.

When we returned her to the RTC staff, they seemed surprised.

Looking forward to the next visit!! Hoping for continued healing for both girls.  The trauma bond wasn't even visible in this visit.

I did find it interesting that kiddo took her baby doll with us and put the car seat in the middle for her doll so she'd have a barrier between her and her sister if she felt things were off.  Seeing her, she was immediately fine and moved it over so they could sit super close to each other.

Wonky Kid

Kiddo is driving me up the wall.

Hyper, easily distracted, can't focus worth two cents, forgets how to use indoor voice, constantly moving and momma has to be there 24/7

Very difficult, especially when she's not open about what is bugging her.

Momma would be ready for the funny farm soon if she hadn't actually finally come out with what may or may not be the issue.  We'll see by whether she starts calming down.

She said she's missing her sister, worried her sister will never have a forever family, etc.

We suggested she call her and then she'd hear her and know she's okay and happy where she's at.  (if her sister had her way, she'd stay in residential until she aged out probably).  She said no, that'd make it worse.

Finally she said what would help would be seeing her, that it's been too long since they've had a playdate.  Apparently kiddo was waiting on us to line up something.

We reminded her after the last fiasco, we told her she had to tell us when she was ready, we wouldn't line up playdates until she said the word, because of how stressed she was and her comments that she wanted to have less playdates, that they were stressful.

So, yeah, just e-mailed the residential center therapist and the social worker and asked when baby sis would be ready for a playdate.

We shall see how this goes....


We reminded her again that she has to be open so we can help, that contrary to how we act, we can't always read minds.