Tech program at school

Last January, kiddo applied for and was accepted into B Tech.  (B Tech isn't the name, but the name for here)

B Tech is almost like a school within a school.  It's high school info but done like you're in college or in workplace.  They'll work in groups instead of lecture style from teachers, no worksheets, but project based. 

It allows teachers free reign over what they want to teach students and how they want to teach it. The teachers have total intellectual freedom. They combine subjects sometimes and instead of 6-8 classes a day, they only have 4.  It'll help her with her ADHD I think. Last year she struggled with bell assignments (the first 5-10 minutes of each class). I think it was the adjustment part that made that difficult, because the assignments were easier than what she did successfully, as far as material.

This will help her build soft skills, like confidence, time management, and communication, as opposed to learning how to retain a body of knowledge about topics studies show they quickly forget. While other schools teach students memorization tactics in order to score well on a test, B Tech will focus on learning citizenship-readiness. They encourage movement, noise, and activity in the classroom. (also good for her ADHD)

Each student works on a group project, the act of which encourages team building. Students at similar facilities in the county scored on average 10 percent higher on senior exit exams. Student also had a 98 percent acceptance rate into college.  

The critical thinking and using skills that actually get used after leaving schools had us sold on the idea.

So many are complaining about the program, but other than fear of the unknown, I don't see the downside yet.  

As time progresses, we shall see how this goes.  I hope kiddo will be happy with this choice because I want her to stay in it. She's only committed to 1 year, but I'd like this to continue going forward if successful.

More on Learning Issues

Our meeting with the school was today.

They said kiddo definitely doesn't have a learning issue in the sense of capacity. On the contrary, they feel like she's above average in intelligence and very smart. They do think, however, that she's lazy. They are pretty certain she's had an easy time with learning because she's smart and never had to develop good habits and now it's catching up and affecting grades.

I still say alot is the PTSD and some is the ADHD and Anxiety.  They definitely hit the nail on the head on the other part.  This can't be treated as pure laziness though, because that's only a piece of the puzzle.

Her PTSD is horrible and if triggered, she literally will not be present and not hear assignments, nor do any schoolwork.

One of the teachers that was present at the meeting has had her in 2 classes, 2 different years.  She added her perspective from growth.

She said the progress she appears to have made emotionally is amazing, however, she did get what we said about PTSD. She said that made last year make alot more sense. She contributed alot to the meeting and suggested to the other teachers that they make sure she's not the center of attention. The bulk of the first 11 years of her life, center of attention meant she was being abused, so having all eyes on her makes her uncomfortable and triggers her.  She also said it was obvious we'd worked hard with her and made huge progress and we were to be commended for how we've dealt with her, that it's obvious to her that she's attached to us and knows we're in it forever and no longer fearful.

I was so glad that one of the teachers saw the PTSD and got the others buy in to help in that area.

Granted, it's late in the year and we'll have to start all over again next year since she'll be in a different school, but I was impressed with their willingness to take on some responsibility despite her not having an IEP or 504.

They also referred her for an assessment for help from community services to help in the classroom with organization and staying focused. Hubs is all for it. I'm against it.  I think it'll trigger her from the attention. The guidance counselors assured us that students don't even notice the people in there and that the students that have this help aren't singled out in class, but checked in with to see if they have their ducks in a row.  We have a meeting for that Wednesday, so that leaves 2 days to talk hubs out of this.

Problem is guidance counselor asked kiddo if she thought that would help. She said yes.  I know her well enough to know from the look in her eyes that she said yes because he wanted to hear that and he's an authority figure.

I had a good talk with kiddo tonight and told her pretty much the same things outlined here and I think she really appreciated being stood up for and being told she's smarter than average.  Tonight she actually worked on practice exercises in Math WITH me.

She usually pushes us away with homework, but she embraced my being there.

Learning Issues

Kiddo has struggled off and on in school ever since she got here.

Her trauma brain has her ADHD, PTSD and Anxiety all interfering with being as successful as she can be.  I know she has the ability to learn and is smart, but she shuts down at times that affect her grades.

This year has been worse and I just realized core classes were in afternoon this year and electives in the morning. The last couple years, the electives were in the afternoon. It's possible the ADHD meds are starting to wear off at that point?

We can be doing something totally unrelated to school and her come out with the origin and what she learned in school relating to it, so I know she has the capacity for learning, but needs help with coping and not letting anxiety rule.

We have our 2nd meeting with the school tomorrow and another lined up for Wednesday.

We also need to make an appointment with a doctor.  From all I've read it seems dysplaxia could be a probable cause in addition to the trauma.

Known school triggers

• ·         Homework  (from being demeaned in her past)
• ·         Loud/Stern teachers (perceives as anger, which causes her to shut down)
• ·         Being singled out frequently (even if it’s not bad, doesn’t like classroom attention on her, will self-sabatoge after frequent positive highlights) Life as a foster child meant don't draw attention to yourself. It doesn't result in good things.  Sexual abuse means "rewards" for being "good" and triggering that part of her.

 Kiddo brought home a math paper and asked me why her answer was wrong. Upon reviewing it, it definitely wasn't wrong. It turned out she had written the question down wrong, transposing the numbers.

She has a hard time transitioning from one thing to the next.  After reviewing grades more, the grades she's struggling with are the assignments at the beginning of class.

She gets overwhelmed with alot of material at once. When she can focus on a few questions at a time, she doesn't stress. When it's alot of questions (test time, SOL's), she shuts down.  

Organization--poor child has a chaotic brain.  She forgets to turn in assignments she's done and teacher has refused assignments with pages out of order.

With our investigation into symptoms, it seems likely she has Dyspraxia.

Many kids with dyspraxia also have speech issues (she was formerly on IEP for speech and improved)

Warning signs at her age:

• lTries to avoid sports or gym class (she used to make up injuries and asks for notes to get her out of pe
•   Takes a long time to write, due to difficulty gripping pencil and forming letters (very slow with writing, has odd grip and letters are made oddly)
• Has trouble moving objects from one place to another, such as pieces on a game board (not so much her on this)
• Struggles with games and activities that require hand-eye coordination (has improved dramatically)
• Has trouble following instructions and remembering them (I see this at home, we cannot give her 2 things to do, one WILL be neglected)

 Dyscalculia:  basic math skills and has to think things thru even on low level math prior to doing things….ie. math puzzles at Pizza Hut, frequently uses hands to count even now)

·         Dysgraphia:  very messy handwriting, writes letters in odd manner, holds pencil in odd manner and has history in file of not being able to hold pencil properly even with instruction)

·         ADHD: on highest dosage ADHD meds and was diagnosed approximately 8 years ago

Kids with dyspraxia many times have speech issues, including pitch and volume. She previously had issues with pronouncing words, but definitely still has the pitch/volume issues. She can go from mumbling to yelling, even when happy.

They also become overwhelmed in groups and struggle with sports, which creates issues making friends because of anxiety.  Definitely her. She quit both soccer and softball after not being able to get in the group because she wasn't great at sports.

Difficulty with writing technique. The girl is an amazing writer.  I wish she'd create a blog. Her writing always either entertains me or makes me cry, depending on the theme. However technique, is another story. Her letters aren't formed property and she's unable to hold pencil properly.

Other clues include: temper tantrums, easily distressed, eating with fingers, immature drawings, pencil grip, use of scissors, preferring adult company (ie doesn't invite secondary friends over, if bff can't come over, prefers momma to secondary friends or alone time), sensitive to noise, dislikes being touched, slower response time, limited concentration.

So, while it could be trauma based only, there are enough similiarities to where we want her tested. If it's something that can be done to help her succeed, we need to get the ball rolling before high school.  She'll be in the tech program next year and our hope is it will make it easier because of combined classes, but it also has more independent study, which she needs work on.

There is enough going on that it's not 100% clear what the problem is. Our goal is to get to the bottom and get this fixed. She wants to be a nurse when she's older and she will definitely need to boost up the grades to do that without so much struggle. 

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Another Attachment Session

this one was at our home instead of the office, so it was interesting trying to keep Ms ADHD girl focused and not playing with the pets instead, but overall, very productive.

My favorite exercise was us "beeping" each others noses and "honking" our chins.  We both got a case of the giggles.  Then again, her trying to keep a straight face while I made her laugh was interesting too.  That took no time to get her to laugh three times.

We looked in a mirror together where I'd describe her as I see her.  The attachment specialist asked her if she believed me and she said yes.  P said she sees in her eyes that she wants to believe me, but not sure yet. I hugged my baby and told her I 100% meant everything I said about my beautiful girl.

We always end our sessions by eating, which means right before eating we wash our hands. This time was washing each others hands.  Right after daddy washed her hands, she immediately picked up the cat.  Daddy had to wash her hands again, while she was giggling.  P asked if she knew why she picked up the cat right after daddy washed her hands.  She said "Because I wanted daddy to do it again!"

P said very smart, most kids didn't communicate that that was why.

We got to watch each other instead of going in different rooms this time. It was so much fun to watch the baby and daddy playing together on these exercises.

Eating--P told her that feeding each other is a way to show each other we love each other (after munchkin was basically shoving crackers down my throat and I was being gentle, lol).  Babygirl proceeded to kiss me and tell me she loves me and P challenged her to show me by being gentle instead of so rough.

I can definitely see where these attachment sessions will pay off. We have fun AND build attachments.

On a related note, a kind soul sent me some attachment cards from Theraplay and daddy and I are finding opportunities to do some of these things without the structure of a session to build on it.