Got this about Princess Redhead that we inquiried on back in November.....
"I wanted to update you and your husband. We did meet on Tuesday of this week to make decisions about Princess Redhead. The agency has decided to interview 2 families currently. They did not choose you and your husband at this time. I don't want to keep you holding, but at the same time these interviews may not be the end all in the process of searching for Princess Redhead. I feel that you both are strong candidates and had you as my top two choices that I presented to the agency. We will move along over the next two weeks two establish interviews. I spoke with J and I do not want to withdraw your home study, but I also do not want to give false hope. Please feel free to call me, I understand that it is sometimes easier to gain understanding through conversation rather than email! I also wanted you to know decisions now and not hold on for several more weeks as this has been a long process and you have patiently waited for it take place!
Thank you for your commitment and time while we have searched for this placement."
If we're her top choice, why would the agency not even consider us?! :( I don't understand.
I haven't been on here lately because I'm so overwhelmed with excitement, I can't put my thoughts into words, but then I heard an analogy that put together how I'm thinking.
The pilot gets in the plane, can't see everything through the clouds and the control tower is responsible for telling the pilot when to turn, descend, ascend, etc. Through it all, the pilot gets us where we're going, but it is 90% adjustment from it's current path. Rarely is it a straight line.
The adoption journey for us hasn't been a straight line either.
We had an interview on Princess M last March. It went extremely well and yet, we weren't chosen. In the final 2 and the other couple was chosen.
We had an interview on Lil Miss H Friday. I'm afraid to be hopeful. We've been hopeful in the past and it fall through, but it's all been a very crooked line.
Lil Miss H we found last fall. She was on adoptuskids with her siblings. We found her and Princess Redhead at the same time. I tried to talk the hubby into applying for them, but he said no, 3 was too many, so we only applied for Princess Redhead. I kept her on my watch list anyway as I prayed for them. Apparently though I did more than watch because when she was separated from her younger siblings, I got a notice asking if we were still interested even though it was only 1. Not only only 1, but THE one that I really felt something for. I told the hubby and he said "quick, call our worker".
We called our worker....7 weeks later she STILL had not submitted our home study and she said Lil Miss H already had a prospective family. I was furious and hurt and so was DH. I literally cried myself to sleep that night, it felt like everyone was working against us and that if our worker wasn't advocating for us, then we were doomed.
Despite that, I reached out to see if she was really placed. Turns out our worker saw the siblings status and not her status, she thought they'd been placed together (I don't REALLY believe that, I think that was her excuse to not admit she forgot to submit our study), but in any event, that Friday she submitted our home study. Her worker had a meeting and eliminated the unacceptable families. We were in the "explore more info" pile as a potential family.
Princess Redheads worker reached out Monday and told us the deal with her and that a little more time was needed. (we interviewed on her by phone a few weeks ago)
Lil Miss H's worker reached out to us directly on Monday and told us a little about this 'lil angel and asked if we were willing and able to accomodate her worst behavioral issues. We asked a couple questions to clarify and decided we still were very interested. On Wednesday, she reached out and requested a face to face interview and on Friday we had an interview.
We think it went very well. They seemed to like us and think we could be good for her, but of course, we have to wait and they are interviewing one more family before a decision is made.
I keep thinking about the control tower and the crooked journey. God had to work serious miracles to get this young lady in our path, to get our home study submitted, to get us considered despite all these odds. If He can do that, I'm sure He can get us approved for her.
I'm terrified. She has some pretty severe issues, and yet, that's EXACTLY the child I want, as does the husband. It feels right. I hope I'm not wrong. I almost think Princess M last March may have been a way to prepare us for this one, she's eeirily similar. As a result, we ended up focusing more of our training on those type issues in case we ran into another like her or if her adoption disrupted (in which case, we knew we'd be called)
Either way, say a prayer for both of these young ladies. I think I know what direction we're suppose to go in. I'm just not sure others are on the same page yet. Time will tell what the control tower (God) has in store for us.
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours ~Mark 11:24
Every year we have a kickoff meeting at work. The last few years it's been in Baltimore. After much thought and deliberation, back in July, I stepped down in my role from district manager to branch manager. Most of the time, I've been very happy with that choice. I love my job again. I do miss that power though.
A manager opening came open in the town I live in, work was driving me nuts, but more importantly, one precious little angel that we'd submitted interest in and seemed to otherwise be a good match for, we were turned down for because of my work hours and so much travelling. I've enjoyed my new role a bunch, but I must admit occassionally I feel those pangs of missing the power I had. Isn't that sad? Of all the things, salary, company car, laptop, perks, I miss those obviously, but the power was harder to give up. Go figure, I lost 15K in salary, who knows what in bonuses yet, the company car and a laptop, yet, it's the power I miss.
I was dreading kickoff, the first time I'd see many of my peers since stepping down. Not all know the reason, I'm sure there is spectulation and rumors. Oddly enough though, it went well.
I just knew it was going to be very difficult to go to this meeting, not being in the middle management role and having a say in things going on, but being among those that are being talked TO, instead of doing the presenting. Branch manager and below have to share rooms. District Manager and below get their own rooms. This was a probably mentally for me, so I offered to pay 1/2 to being able to keep my own room. Thankfully, this request was honored.
I got there and it was initially a tad awkward knowing people would know I'd stepped down, but very few would know why and probably would assume the worst. Oddly enough, though, it wasn't near as difficult as I anticipated. I get to be buddies with cool people and not have the responsibility of making sure people behave. That was cool.
But the really great thing.......they requested we all bring in toys to the kickoff meeting and anybody that brought toys or sent toys could wear jeans Wednesday. My team really stepped up to the plate and sent tons of toys. We KNEW they'd go to a great cause, but image my surprise when I got here and they're going to foster children. That made me very happy. I was so excited that I had overdone it a little with the toys, once I knew the whole story. Here I am stressed out over going to a company meeting because of my change in role and get there and find the very kids I feel such an urgency for are the very ones the company is helping.
Not sure why, but for some reason that just made me more sure I'd made the right decision to step down and I'm more at peace and less anxiety over being in big groups with people at the company looking at me in a different position.
Once I got home, I got an e-mail from a lady we'd met back in November. We'd went to a match reception and found a young lady that just looks and feels like she'd fit right in with us. She asked when we could interview. Naturally, we said tomorrow!!
We left our worker out of the loop on this one. To date, we haven't seemed to have much help from her and in a few cases, have seemed to get conflicting messages from the workers we've met in our travels to find a child. We shall see who's right.
The interview went great. Our training we've focused on is geared towards EXACTLY what this angel needs. She said she's 100% comfortable with recommending us, but of course, as always, there are a couple others to interview and the next step should probably be in 3 or so weeks. I'll be a wreck til then. I really would LOVE to be this angels new, forever mom!
Always a reminder of the journey and why I made the choices I've made. I hope one day these choices will prove to be fruitful.
